Dear Shem

Shem,

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. I love you so much that I'm willing to give you everything. I'm sorry that you have to go through all these. You're young but you seem to have the entire world on your shoulders and some things that are better locked away from you congesting your head right now. Is that the reason why you lack interest for school or your sudden change in attitude? You're not like that before. You are loving , caring, respectful and bright little kid. But all these things changed you.And every time I think about you I cry. You mean the whole world to me that whenever I scold you, I feel the pain ten folds. But I have to, if I don't who else will? I don't want you to grow up lost and unguided. So no matter how much you'll hate me for being the bad guy, I will always stand right here, watching over you. I'm doing that at my expense because we're family.And because I love you so much. I wasn't happy when I hit you today. Do you think I enjoy seeing you crying?Did you ever believe that I will find enjoyment in your pains? NO. I did that because you have to learn.  I want you to go above all these, unaffected. I want you to become who you are and not to be somebody else driven by hatred. I just want you to know that I love you so much. And if only I can take all these pains and situations away from you. I would but since I can't, I'll just stick with you along the way even if that would entail you hating me.

Love,

Tito Rommel

Unlimited Internet Musing

Photo credit: Google Images

I have been silent for a week because no matter how much I want to update my blog, I couldn't just find the time to do so. And whenever I do, my laziness comes in really handy. But today I won't let this opportunity slip off again especially that this day marks the beginning of my forever unlimited internet. Yes, forever, for only 600 pesos initial payment. How is that possible, you might ask. Well, there are things that tech-savvy individuals know that are locked away from normal guys like us. Thankfully, I have a friend who helped me save a lot by letting me avail of this EXCLUSIVE service. With this new development, I can certainly avoid the bland days without internet as this is ,once again, forever unlimited. So I can download movies without worries and stream all I want off work. My only issue now would be my laptop which is not very impressive. As the Pavilion my sister promised me has some motherboard issue, I'm considering a RAM upgrade for my notebook just so the speed will be augmented. Getting a new motherboard for HP is as expensive as getting a new unit so I'm brushing off the idea at present and relish at the fact that my sister is once again scouting for a new unit for me. She considers getting me a Dell as her new lappy bears the same brand. So how's that for a consolation? But that will be eons from now as her scheduled vacation in the country is set to next year or so. How I wish she can just go home immediately so she can spend some time with us and with her kid most especially. But Canada is an ocean apart and the travel expenses will definitely drain your piggy bank. So sacrifices have to be made. What's important for me now is that she takes happiness with the things, both tangible and intangible, that she has as of the moment and keep a yard of patience and faith in God for the things that she doesn't have control over.These things that are independent of human interventions must be relinquished to God for His disposal. And before I get mushy in this post, I'll move out and explore the worldwideweb for free until eternity.

Sex Spectator

You have a 50% chance on guessing which of my two male cousins is the one I'm talking about

My cousin won't know that I'm blogging about it now. I have to, despite my very short sleep amounting only to 4 hours because if I don't write this now, I might not have the chance to do so in the future. So while the memory is still crisp and vivid, allow me.

I was playing my usual X-men game in my PSP when my second degree cousin called for me just right outside my kamalig while dragging his sozzled girl along. From a distant he sounded normal but when I opened the door, I knew right there and then than He ,too, was drunk. So while being comfortably positioned on my bed-foam, I have to move and provide them a wide space and transferred to the birha. Then I went out for their bedding leaving them both alone with a radio turned on. The girl who was just so-so looking asked me if she can check her Facebook account while I'm away so I offered her my laptop without any hesitations and left.   It took me longer to get their pillow and extra foam because my lola's house was closed so I have to climb over the fence and open the cyclone-wired gate from the inside. I brought a glass just in case they want to drink after only God-knows what. 

They occupied the whole floor displacing me who voluntarily transferred to give them privacy. I understand what my cousin was up to. Really. And I feel a little awkward for being there at that moment when he wanted total seclusion with one of his girls. Unfortunately, I can't completely leave because my room in our house was occupied by my uncle.And we don't have a big house, you know. So I took the PSP and resumed playing within my narrow area until I forced my self to sleep not because I want to but because I have to. My waking up prolly annoyed my cousin who told me that he will uyog  my place earlier with his bestial moves later on. I wanted to cough but I can't out of shame. The fact that a couple is having the sweetest moment of their life will be probably alarmed of that uninvited sound. Imagine, while in your domain, your freedom gets curtailed only because you want others to feel comfortable.But that didn't happen when my two classmates turned-lover slept over. Talk about hospitality.

The funniest thing last night is the fact that I can't sleep even if I have to and no matter how I forced my system to shut down. I have to sleep because I don't want to be jealous.LOL. But sleep was rare, it was like there was a shortage of it last night. I don't see it normal because not everything is normal that time. My senses are all up and it's kahuluya because I might have appeared eavesdropping. I didn't at will but the space of my room just made every sound inside louder. When the bed-sheet screech and a horse like-pacing and loud breathing come into play you know that the basketball game is on. I din't watch I can't because there's a curtain concealing them complemented by the darkness which suddenly filled the room at lights off. I know the sound of them all, out of porn and out of something else. 

Do I really have to get so detailed? Okay!So prolly her good mouth was working its wonders as I hear sucking within a meter-radius.  And the moans, oh the moans , were surreal. They were silent whispers of pleasure than can cause your imagination to explode. The foreplay may have gone inadequate so the main event took place. This time instead of moans it was crying, a plea. "Sakit" she said. She was sobbing and saying "agay"  as if that was the only word she knew as my cousin reassured her . "Was she a virgin" I itched to ask. But the words can hardly come out. So I coughed instead and pretended to be asleep and snoring. Then I was laughing out loud in my mind. God what was I doing? and that weird cough. I don't cough on normal occasions but it took me by surprise that I sounded sick last night.

But that didn't stop them from moving on. Too much intoxication blurs one's thought,indeed. So the girl was crying and her phone rang, that was her sister. As the light coming off her phone partially illuminated the room kissing and sounds of that sort vanished. The last few sentences I can make out were " tama na kay basa na", ga lum-ok na" and "kalangsa na ah".(LOL-ing) I think it wasn't satisfactory enough as far as my cousin is concerned. He didn't nail it like he usually does with the others. 

That was the last recollection before I passed out. And when I woke up today, both of them were gone. Without waking me up for thank yous and goobyes which is very understandable. But what bothers me is my last night's presence regardless whether it was welcomed or not. If I weren't there, will the girl give in and bear with the pains or my cousin will have the nerves to wholly push his way  inside? I don't know if staying was the soundest decision last night but I know that I'm a story richer because of it.